Honey and Bitterness: Which One Do You Choose?

Xuefeng

Nov. 16, 2022

Culture is the lifeblood of a nation's social functioning. If the blood contains viruses, the society cannot operate healthily, and individuals cannot attain a happy life.

Let's dissect some cells in culture and see if these cells carry viruses.

"There's fragrance from the plum blossom, originating from the bitter cold."

"Without experiencing bone-chilling cold, how could the plum blossom be so fragrant?"

"Pressure is the driving force for progress."

"Setbacks urge people to advance."

"Don't guide children, let them face setbacks and stumble a few times to become strong."

"Heaven sends down great responsibilities to someone, but first it makes their tendons and bones toil, their hearts suffer, and their bodies starve..."

Are the above perspectives correct? Let's analyze them from the perspective of human nature and facts.

Let's consider praise, encouragement, compliments, sweet words, smoothness, good fortune, auspiciousness, and health as honey, and bitterness, pressure, poverty, setbacks, hunger, setbacks, criticism, ridicule, humiliation, and disabilities as metaphorical bitterness.

From a human nature perspective, people will definitely choose honey over bitterness. If someone chooses bitterness over honey, then there must be a malfunction at the spiritual level.

From a factual standpoint, have you noticed that almost all fruits, once a certain part is bruised, that part is more prone to decay and rot? As long as fruits are not bruised, they last longer, and the probability of decay and rot is lower. Bruising indicates that the fruit has been struck and faced setbacks. This proves that setbacks and blows are not good things. If this is how fruits react, then how about humans? How will people be affected by external setbacks and pressures?

It is said that someone conducted an experiment by separating two plants of almost the same size and growth condition. One of them was treated with phrases like, “You are very beautiful,” “You are so beautiful! I love you,” “I really like you!” while the other one was treated with phrases like, “You are very ugly,” “How could you look so disgusting,” “You are about to die.” After a period of time, the plant that was frequently praised and encouraged grew lusher, while the one constantly subjected to defamation, cursing, and criticism gradually withered and lost vitality. If this is how plants react, then how about humans? Will people who are frequently praised and encouraged become healthier and more beautiful in spirit? Or will people who are constantly insulted and slandered become mentally healthy?

Everyone has attended primary school. Have you noticed that some desks are full of scars? The reason is that some students hit it the day before, some students carve it with a knife, and some students knock it over. Over time, this desk becomes battered, shaky, with pockmarks on the surface. If a person frequently experiences "hits," "carvings," and "shaking," will they become more perfect? Or will they become scarred?

In psychology, there is a "Pygmalion Effect," which tells us that people tend to develop in the direction shaped by the masses. If everyone says, "You are full of love," this person will be full of love. If everyone says, "You are full of hate," this person will be full of hate. If everyone says, "You are a great person," the probability of this person becoming a great person will be high. If everyone says, "You are a scum," this person will inevitably move towards becoming a scum.

Fruits, flowering plants, desks, and the Pygmalion Effect tell us that it is more beneficial to praise and encourage people than to vilify and degrade them in order for a person to grow healthily and beneficially in society.

My personal experience also proves that honey is better than bitterness. I have lived my whole life surrounded by people’s love. As a child, adults always said, “This child is smart.” When I went to elementary school, the teacher praised me as “the phoenix in the sky.” At eighteen, I was appointed as the head of the village. During high school, technical school, college, and university, I was almost the class monitor every semester, and during my time as a high school teacher, I was worshipped by my students as King Gesar. Especially during my more than ten years as a guide in Lifechanyuan, I was praised by the members every day. My entire life has been spent growing up in a honey jar. I ask you: Have I become bad? In fact, the reason why I created Lifechanyuan and the Second Home, besides the laws of nature, is an undeniable factor of being loved by people. I deeply feel the kindness, loveliness, and respect of people and the beauty of life. Therefore, making people live better has become my heartfelt activity.

The growth experience and current situation of my child are also evidence. From a young age, I mainly praised and encouraged him, rarely giving him pressure or disparagement. What are the results? The result is a sound mind, ability, and capacity. He is good at handling relationships between people, and wherever he goes, he finds good teachers and helpful friends. He recently called me to say that they were going to travel to the UK and Italy and live in Thailand for a while. When I asked if there were any difficulties, he said, "Dad, don't worry! It's all invitations from friends, and we have friends looking after us everywhere." Not long ago, I also gave him a bit of mesmerizing potion, saying, "Son, you're really amazing."

I have also experienced setbacks, deceptions, and blows, and have tasted bitterness. But the bitterness left in my heart is always a scar, an indelible scar, a forever ugly side of society and humanity. Whenever I think of the bitterness I have tasted, what arises in my heart is not love and compassion, but hatred and cruelty.

So, I found, "Heaven sends down demons to test someone, but first it makes their hearts suffer, their tendons and bones toil, and their bodies starve..."

One fact cannot be ignored: there is no bitterness in heaven. People who live in heaven enjoy the beauty of life, while hell is full of insults, oppression, deception, cruelty, setbacks, and repression. Have you seen any ghosts evolving into celestial beings or buddhas?

Does the fragrance of plum blossoms come from hardship? Who can prove that the fragrance of plum blossoms comes not from the genetic structure of plum blossoms themselves, but from the invasion of severe cold? Must plum blossoms suffer hardships to emit fragrance? There are also plum blossoms in the Thousand-year World, but they have not suffered the torture of severe cold. Why are they still as fragrant as ever?

Therefore, my viewpoint is: more praise, less blame; more encouragement, less setbacks. Let people have fewer pressures and setbacks in their lives, and more smooth sailing and beautiful sunshine.

From another perspective, life is just a few short decades, many people bid farewell to the world in their teens, twenties, and thirties. In this short time of fleeting existence, why make people suffer and toil their minds, bodies, tendons, and bones? Even if you grow up in bitterness and become an emperor, a wealthy person, or a star, isn't life still an illusory bubble?

So, let people live sweet lives in honey jars! Let's speak sweet words to each other!

Have any of you smelled foul odors in a flower house? Have any of you smelled the fragrance of flowers in a pit latrine?

Have any of you seen kind-hearted people insult, deceive, attack, ensnare, or harm others?

Have any of you seen morally bankrupt individuals praise, inspire, and treat others with sweet words?

So, I ask, honey or bitter water, which one would you choose?