Do Not Use Love as a Justification for Spiritual and Soul Control

Xuefeng

November 24, 2009

Great love is like a mountain—silent and steadfast. The Greatest Creator’s love for us is unwavering and eternal, never expressed in human language. If love comes with conditions, if it needs words to be expressed, or if it demands reciprocation, then it is not great love—it is small love.

How many loves drift by like passing clouds, ever-changing in form? How many loves are fleeting encounters, shifting with the seasons? How many loves begin with solemn vows but wither into lifeless silence? How many loves start with fiery passion, only to decay into stench and rot? Such love is not true love; it is love born of selfish desire.

Love that comes with conditions ceases to be love. It becomes a tool for binding and strangling the other under the guise of love.

True love is the harmonious dance of two hearts in sync. If you make the other person feel guilty or indebted in the name of love, then you are using love as a means of spiritual and emotional control.

True love does not require enticements, promises, guarantees, or obligations. It is entirely voluntary, like the spontaneous collision of clouds charged with opposite energies, the natural merging of two rivers, or the seamless blending of milk and water. Love that relies on money, possessions, power, status, beauty, youth, or any other external factor is selfish scheming, not true love.

True love fully respects the other’s freedom. If love restricts or robs someone of their freedom, it is not love. It is deception, exploitation, and control masquerading as love, inflicting spiritual and emotional torment.

The following behaviors illustrate how love can be misused to exert spiritual and emotional control over others:

1.Emotional Manipulation Through Words and Promises Statements like: "I will love you forever. Without you, I can’t live." "Apart from you, I will never be with anyone else. I am willing to die for you and dedicate everything to you." "In this life, I will never pursue anyone else but you." "You are my everything. Remember my words and vows." "My love for you is sacred and must not be tainted or desecrated." "I love you so deeply that without your love, life is meaningless to me. I’d rather die." Such declarations are not expressions of true love. They are cunning manipulations disguised as love, often the most selfish and ruthless kind.

2.Control Through Overbearing Care Constantly showering the other with gifts, creating favorable conditions, speaking sweet words, and offering meticulous care can turn into a form of control. This imposes invisible pressure, making the other feel indebted and ultimately aiming to bind them to your will.

3.Emotional Blackmail Through Extreme Reactions When dissatisfied with the other’s words or actions, pretending to be deeply hurt, despondent, crying, or engaging in extreme behaviors like threatening self-harm are all tactics of spiritual and emotional control. These behaviors aim to tighten your grip on the other person.

4.Unrealistic Promises of Responsibility and Protection Statements like:

"I will ensure your happiness for a lifetime." "I will take full responsibility for you." "As long as you stay faithful, I will protect you." "My life is dedicated to you." Such promises are reckless and irresponsible. As humans, we cannot even predict tomorrow, let alone guarantee someone else’s lifelong happiness or shoulder their responsibilities.

Let birds fly freely and flowers bloom naturally. There is no need to create golden cages for birds or transplant flowers from the earth into your bedroom for careful tending. This world will keep turning, and flowers will continue to bloom, whether anyone stays or leaves. When one door closes, nine others open. No one is indispensable, and life often becomes more joyful and free after separation.

Therefore, Chanyuan Celestials must stop using cunning schemes to exert spiritual and emotional control over others.

Adapt to circumstances, flow with destiny, act in harmony with your nature, and live spontaneously. This applies to life, work, and love. Any attempt to scheme or perpetually possess love is the behavior of a demon and a desecration of love.

No matter the reason or form, no matter how great or extraordinary we believe ourselves to be—even if we consider ourselves saviors—we must never impose spiritual and emotional control over others.