Do Not Punish Loved Ones with Negativity and Tragedy

Xuefeng

December 22, 2010

Disagreements, arguments, and dissatisfaction are inevitable when interacting with loved ones.

When misunderstandings, disagreements, or frustrations arise, how should we handle them?

Remember! Never resort to negative, destructive, or tragic emotions and methods to address or resolve them.

Many of life’s pains, worries, and tragedies stem from incorrect ways of handling relationships with loved ones.

Children often use tantrums and crying to “coerce” their parents. However, children who frequently cry and throw tantrums tend to be less likable. Parents should correct such behavior promptly, encouraging children to express their wishes clearly and helping them resolve their concerns. Otherwise, children who rely on crying and tantrums may grow up to experience frequent dissatisfaction in life.

Parents sometimes respond to “disobedient” children with harsh words or threats, even going so far as to declare that they’ll sever parent-child relationships. This is not ideal. Instead, parents should remain calm and use gentle reasoning to guide their children with understanding and care.

Between spouses, it’s common to see arguments resolved with dramatic acts like “crying, yelling, or threatening suicide,” or escalating to insults, violence, or even threats with weapons. Such approaches are utterly wrong and only exacerbate conflicts, making reconciliation even harder.

Among siblings, in-laws, or extended family, disharmony is often dealt with through cold indifference, gossiping behind each other’s backs, blame, avoidance, or cutting off contact. These methods not only fail to alleviate inner frustrations and conflicts but also deepen life’s pain and misfortune.

Every year, hundreds of thousands of people commit suicide worldwide, and strained family relationships are a significant factor in many cases. Often, suicide is not born out of genuine despair but is an extreme attempt to punish their loved ones. This method of punishment leaves those left behind devastated, wracked with guilt, and in unspeakable pain.

Crying, yelling, throwing tantrums, losing one’s temper, hysterical outbursts, breaking things, indifference, blaming, jealousy, ignoring, constant criticism, insults, suppression, verbal abuse, physical violence, hurtful remarks, running away, severing ties, or suicide—these are all negative, destructive, and pessimistic ways to handle conflicts. Using such methods to punish loved ones or oneself in an attempt to retaliate is a significant misstep in life.

As the saying goes, “Like breeds like.” An apple tree bears apples, and thorny bushes make the path impassable. The laws of attraction and visualized thinking make it clear: things of the same frequency resonate, and similar natures attract one another. Beauty attracts beauty, and ugliness attracts ugliness. Negative, destructive, and pessimistic emotions will only invite more negativity, destruction, and despair. A tragedy cannot create a comedy. To cultivate warm, harmonious relationships with loved ones, we must rely on positive, constructive, and optimistic approaches.

Whenever you are tempted to handle family matters with negative, pessimistic, or passive methods, pause and remind yourself: “These are my loved ones! How can I approach my loved ones with ugliness in my heart and on my face? No! Absolutely not! I must handle and resolve our relationships with peace, tolerance, understanding, and love.”

Who are our loved ones? Those who share our bloodline are our family. Those who have raised or cared for us are our family. According to Lifechanyuan’s teachings inspired by Jesus Christ, anyone who follows the path of the Greatest Creator is also our family.

Lifechanyuan has developed a comprehensive value system for handling relationships among loved ones. For example, jealousy is a manifestation of a soul’s ugliness. Complaints are poisonous arrows. The heart of comparison is the heart of malice. Praise more, criticize less. Avoid picking faults or blaming. Do not speak ill of others behind their backs. Never use loved ones as a dumping ground for negative emotions. The Second Home, created by Lifechanyuan, practices these principles, and the results are clear: members live in warmth and harmony, with minimal occurrences of disputes, arguments, or conflicts. This is because we follow the principles of attraction and visualized thinking.

In summary, if you wish for a happy life and a bright future, do not punish your loved ones with negativity or tragedy.