Grumbling and Complaining are Weapons that Kill Kinship, Affection, and Love
Xuefeng
September 19, 2019
Feeling resentful, unsatisfied with doing things, dissatisfied with your results, negativity, and blaming others is grumbling. Dissatisfaction with the status quo and results, never accepting anything as being one’s own fault, but rather blaming other people’s faults for causing unsatisfactory results, thus complaining and blaming others and letting them bear any and all bad consequences is complaining.
Once you feel resentment in your heart, you will feel that the world is unfair, that everyone owes you, and that you have paid but not received fairly, which makes you unhappy, angry, and wanting to lash out in passive, negative, and pessimistic language, emotions, postures, movements, and the like are grumbling and complaining.
The consequences of grumbling and complaining are very serious.
To your parents, they can result in your losing their love for you
To your children, they can cause you to lose their filial piety
To your spouse, they can lead to divorce
To siblings, they can cause your relationships with them to break down
To friends, they can cause your loss of friendship with them, even turning it into enmity
To the ancestor of Buddha - the Greatest Creator, they can cause you to lose your spirituality
To gods, Buddha, celestials, and saints, they can send you into darkness
To superiors and bosses, they can get you demoted or fired from your job
To your colleagues, they can cause you to lose their help when you need it
To society, they can drive you to despair
To spirits, they can lead you to disasters
Therefore, grumbling and complaining are weapons that kill kinship, affection, and love.
Besides, they will make oneself toxic and lose their spiritual light, will bury hidden dangers and disasters along one’s way forward, will make one lose their demeanor, temperament, morality, beauty, will create countless obstacles and thorns to oneself, and will put one into vicious circles of negativity, passivity and pessimism which will get worse with time until one’s bright future gets destroyed. Grumbling and complaining are very harmful and they do nobody any good.
An ambitious, emotional, and caring person is not afraid of difficulties, hardships, suffering, hard work, facing desperation, or bearing heavy burdens, but they are always afraid of being grumbled and complained at by the people who are closest to them, especially by their relatives and friends. Once they are exposed to these negative individuals, they will gradually lose their confidence and courage, become frustrated, dispirited, lose patience and love, their soft tempers will gradually become irritable, and they will gradually lose their reasonability.
Therefore, grumbling and complaining are crimes. They spoil good atmospheres, bring waves to calm waters, and destroy all good things.
Let me give some examples of grumbling and complaining:
“My parents didn’t give me a conducive environment for my growth”
“Kid, why do you disappoint me so!”
“Heaven is unfair to me”
“Were it not for you and this family, I would live much better than I do”
“If there really were a Greatest Creator, there would not be such cruelty in this world”
“The reason I was fired was not because I was incapable, but because my boss was short-sighted and failed to recognize my talent”
“I am sad because the place into which I have poured all of my body and soul offer me no warmth or solace”
“There is no true love or affection in this world; my mother’s door is the only one that is always open for me”
“Were it not for you, I would not have become so wretched!”
“Were it not for you, I would not have become as evil as I am?”
Those are some examples of grumbling and complaining. All stylites should rid themselves of their emotions and psychology of believing those ways. Once you stop it and replace those attitudes with affirmations and praises, then all good things will come your way, the rough wind and rain will gradually cease, and the bright sun will shine on the road in front of you.
How does one get rid of grumbling and complaining? Remember this Chanyuan value: “The world is faultless; all faults lie within us”.
When you believe that you are treated unfairly, are suffering, overworked, having to over-endure, are abandoned by others, are suppressed, or feel unhappy or desperate, remember that none of these things are caused by the injustice of the ancestor of Buddha - the Greatest Creator, the inaction of gods, Buddha, celestials or saints, the injustice of society, too many bad people in the world, or that others are misunderstanding you. The root of the problem is definitely not in the outside world, but in you, yourself. To understand the deeper meaning of this value, please read the relevant expositions of this in Chanyuan Corpus and Xuefeng Corpus.
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