Should One Adhere To Being Oneself Or Give Up Being Oneself?

Xuefeng

November 15, 2023

On March 24, 2021, I wrote an article titled "Giving Up Being Oneself Is the Superior Way of Cultivation," explicitly stating to "give up being oneself."

On November 13, 2023, I wrote another article titled "Great Matters Are Decided by Fate, Small Matters Are Decided by People," clearly stating to "just be yourself."

So, should one "be oneself" or "give up being oneself"? Which viewpoint is correct?

First, let's examine whether the viewpoint of "being oneself" is correct.

My logical reasoning is: each species can only be itself because it cannot transcend its own kind. For instance, a crow wanting to become a parrot, a sheep wanting to become a wolf, or a fly wanting to become a bee—all these desires are unattainable. No matter how hard they try, wanting to become another species is impossible. Therefore, "just be oneself." Even within the same species, such as ants or bees, the ant queen and the bee queen are predetermined. Ordinary ants or bees aspiring to be queens, despite their learning and efforts, is also impossible. So, "one can only be oneself." Similarly, among humans, some are naturally gifted while others are not; some have melodious voices while others do not; some are born into privilege while others struggle from birth; some are handsome, and some have a more modest appearance—each person is unique. No matter how hard one tries to imitate others, they cannot become someone else. Similarly, in business, doing the same thing in the same era can result in profits for some and losses for others. Learning and effort are crucial, but one should never plagiarize or imitate others. This viewpoint—is it wrong?

Now, let's examine whether the viewpoint of "giving up being oneself" is incorrect.

I directly brought over the main content from "Giving Up Being Oneself Is the Superior Way of Cultivation" for everyone to contemplate.

Christ Jesus taught us: "If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. "

Buddha Shakyamuni taught us: "if a Bodhisattva thoroughly understands the dharma of no self, he is a true Bodhisattva."

Celestial Laozi taught us: " Is what we value and what we fear within our Selves? We have fears because we have a self. When we do not regard that self as a self, what have we to fear? Therefore, he who values the world as his self, may then be entrusted with the government of the world; and if he who loves the world as his self, the world may then be entrusted to his care."

Only by being unselfish can one fulfill one’s wishes; and only by being selfless, can one accomplish himself.

How does it feel? Isn't the viewpoint of "giving up being oneself" correct?

Given that "being oneself" is right and "giving up being oneself" is also correct, it creates complete contradiction, leaving one unsure.

Hold on, let's understand it this way. Telling a 5-year-old child, "Go play!" and letting them freely play is appropriate, right? However, if we tell a 30-year-old adult or an 80-year-old elderly person, "Go play!" would that be suitable? Certainly not.

Likewise, telling an ordinary person, "Be yourself, do not fantasize about being someone else," is correct. But for a wise person, aware of transcending worldly desires and aspiring for heaven, instructing them to "give up being oneself" and wholeheartedly following the teachings of gods and saints, adhering to heavenly standards without becoming fixated personal insights—isn’t this right approach?

Any qualified teacher or master must tailor their guidance according to the aptitude of the disciple. Beams need guidance according to the beam’s standards, pillars according to the pillar's standards, and rafters according to the rafter's standards. A uniform standard cannot be imposed on everyone.

Hence, guiding the general public should entail telling them "be yourself." Guiding exceptional individuals like saints and Buddhas must caution them to "give up being oneself."