Women Are Beautiful in Their Gentleness

Xuefeng

April 24, 2011

Who is described as "graceful and charming"? It’s used to describe women who embody gentleness and beauty. If it were used to describe a man, it would certainly be derogatory, implying that he behaves more like a seductive sprite. What does "willows swaying gently" describe? It refers to the tender affection between lovers, like springtime willow branches gently brushing and intertwining with each other under a soft breeze. And "as tender as water"—what kind of emotion does this portray? It describes a woman's feelings as soft, gentle, smooth, delicate, and flowing, crystal-clear and continuous. The phrase "as delicate as a flower" also describes women; flowers are undoubtedly symbols of gentleness and beauty.

In spring, look at the weeping willows by the lakeside. Their tender branches sway gently in the breeze, creating a mesmerizing, graceful scene, evoking a boundless sense of beauty and imagination. "Under the willow tree is the perfect place for love," because the graceful swaying of the willow branches resembles the elegant charm of a woman, and the entwined branches symbolize the mutual affection and dependence of lovers. The softly murmuring streams, and the delicate flowers too beautiful to touch—all are symbols of beauty.

In the traditional Chinese philosophy of Yin and Yang, women are likened to Yin and men to Yang. Yin is gentle, Yang is strong. With this balance, the universe is harmonious, righteousness prevails, and peace and good fortune follow. But if Yang becomes gentle and Yin becomes strong, the universe will fall into chaos, families will break apart, marriages will dissolve, and people's hearts will turn wicked.

With just a little observation of life’s ups and downs, one can see that whenever a woman becomes too strong, her surroundings are filled with anger, resentment, melancholy, and sorrow. Delve a little deeper into the inner world of these excessively strong women, and you will discover their loneliness and struggle. They cannot find a soulmate, they feel unsupported, and beneath their tough exterior lies hidden frustration and anger, a grievance toward their own fate.

“All things carry Yin on their backs and embrace Yang in their arms.” This "carrying Yin, embracing Yang" is a harmonious mechanism, a sequence of auspiciousness. When a woman becomes too strong, it’s like "carrying Yang and embracing Yin." How can a man “carry Yang”? He is already naturally Yang, so adding more Yang will inevitably create a "like repels like" effect. Similarly, how can a woman "embrace Yin"? She is naturally Yin, so adding more Yin will also create the same repelling effect. Two strong Yangs clash, and two Yins conflict—harmony cannot be achieved.

Unless a man has become feminized, all men prefer gentle and soft women. Strength balanced with softness leads to success, but no truly masculine man deep down will ever truly love a woman who is equally as strong. The more masculine a man is, the more he admires a woman who is soft and gentle. "The mountains are tall, the waters are blue, and the girls of Ali Mountain are as beautiful as water, while the young men are as strong as the mountains." How harmonious, how beautiful!

There was a time in China when "strong women" were praised everywhere. Hearing this made my skin crawl. But it’s understandable, because the men of that time had become weak and were no longer strong and masculine. The poor "strong women" had no men by their side, and were forced to take on the role of strength. This is a tragedy for men, a tragedy for women, and even more so, a tragedy for the nation.

A woman’s gentleness can overshadow all flaws. No matter what she looks like, what her figure is, how knowledgeable she is, or what her status is—if she embodies gentleness, she is beautiful, captivating, and endearing.

When I was a teacher in middle school, there was a female student in my class who looked very ordinary and had a rather unattractive figure. One day, after class, she came up to ask me a question about English grammar. I have since forgotten what the question was, but what left an indelible mark on my memory was her softness. The way she blushed, the way she nervously rubbed her hands together, the gentle swaying of her body, and her soft voice—it was so beautiful. That gentleness deeply touched my soul. I realized that a woman’s gentleness is incredibly charming, so endearing, so lovable, and so unforgettable. If I hadn’t already been married, I would have asked for her hand in marriage right then and there.

I have always wondered why the famed wise man Zhuge Liang married a woman famously known as "Ugly." Besides her great strategic insight, it must have been her gentleness that captivated Zhuge Liang; otherwise, it’s inexplicable.

Whether a woman should be gentle or strong is a matter of personal perspective. But for someone like me, who is inherently masculine and strong, I am drawn only to gentleness. To me, gentleness is the hallmark of female angels and goddesses, and it has the power to conquer me completely. I am willing to offer everything to gentleness.

My value system is this: Women are beautiful in their gentleness and unattractive in their strength.