Why "No Filial Child by a Long-Suffering Patient’s Sickbed"

Xuefeng

July 16, 2022

What is the most exhausting task in life? Caring for someone who is long-term ill. It drains not only the body but also the mind. Short-term care may be bearable, but years of tending to a bedridden patient can wear a person down completely, both physically and emotionally.

Since the dawn of the industrial era, each generation has been more burdened than the last. The more advanced technology becomes, the higher the cost of living, and the faster life moves. Young and middle-aged people are always on the run—missing work for just three days sparks anxiety, and taking three months off invites serious trouble. Even the most devoted children, who sincerely wish to care for their aging and ailing parents, often find themselves powerless against life’s demands. They want to help, but they simply lack the time and energy.

It is not that "a long illness on the sickbed finds no filial child," nor is it that children lack love or patience. The reality is that they have their own struggles. After an exhausting day of work, they must still tend to their bedridden loved ones. Over time, their physical and emotional endurance reaches its limit, and they may begin to appear indifferent or sluggish. This is not a sign of lacking filial piety but simply the result of being overwhelmed.

This applies not only to children caring for their parents but also to relationships between spouses, siblings, and friends. While short-term caregiving is manageable, over time, anyone can become drained. People already feel exhausted managing their own daily responsibilities, let alone having to carve out time and energy to care for others.

What makes it even harder is that bedridden patients are often irritable and stubborn. If their needs are not met exactly as they wish, they may respond with frustration, resentment, or complaints. This puts caregivers in a dilemma—they cannot vent their frustrations on the sick, nor can they afford to show impatience. Over time, this breeds a deep, unspoken sorrow and helplessness.

For those who find themselves in this situation, it is important to remember that while patients must endure the suffering of their illness, they should also be mindful of the burdens their caregivers bear. They must cultivate gratitude toward those looking after them. Even parents should show understanding and appreciation toward their children who care for them. Otherwise, caregivers may gradually lose patience, motivation, and even confidence in their ability to continue.

This is human nature—an enduring reality throughout history. It cannot be solved by moral preaching, nor by appeals to traditional virtues such as benevolence, righteousness, propriety, wisdom, and trustworthiness. When a person is physically and mentally exhausted, no amount of moral persuasion or coercion can make a significant difference. The only true solution lies in fundamentally transforming traditional modes of production and living.

To address this issue, Lifechanyuan has designed a new program of production and lifestyle called the Second Home. This program frees people from the burdens of worry and suffering. In the Second Home, the sick receive proper care, and caregivers are regularly rotated. Tending to bedridden parents is no longer solely the responsibility of their children but rather a shared duty among all members of the Second Home. This prevents the burden of caregiving from falling entirely on one person or a few individuals, significantly easing psychological stress, mental exhaustion, and feelings of helplessness.

I hope everyone reflects on this issue, as both illness and caregiving are challenges we will all face sooner or later. It is wise to plan ahead and transition into this new way of life before it is too late. Do not wait until exhaustion and helplessness take over—by then, regret will be of no use.