Improve Emotional Intelligence by Playing One’s Role Well

Xuefeng

August 16, 2019

Emotional intelligence refers to a person’s ability to control their emotions in dealing with society, nature, and others, as well as having the courage to overcome their difficulties. Even with a high SQ (Spiritual Quotient) and IQ (Intelligence Quotient), if one’s EQ (Emotional Quotient) is low, they will be frustrated everywhere in their work and life and will feel like a big fish in a small pond. Even if they achieve great success in their chosen field, they will not be happy and distress will follow them everywhere. Feelings of isolation and loneliness are actually signs of low EQs because those with high EQs never feel that way.

Improving one’s EQ is tantamount to improving one’s happiness index which is tantamount to broadening one’s own path and range of happiness, joy, freedom, and blessing. There are many ways to improve one’s EQ; I will only talk about one way, that is, to play your role well. How does one play their role well? Let us examine my own practice as an example to consider. In the past two years, I have operated a small inn in BC, Canada. Last year, the guests rated us with an overall score of 8.8 (out of 10). So far, this year’s score is 9.1. Eight items are scored. The scores on other items might be high or low, but the scores for the owner are almost all tens, that is, the scores for me are all very high. How do I do this? I entered my role and always played seriously. When I serve the guests, I regard myself completely as a waiter. When they arrive, I run quickly to greet them, regardless of their age or appearance. I open the doors for them and I am attentive at the tables. I brew and pour tea and coffee for them and I toast bread for them. No matter what questions or requests they might raise, I do my best to answer and respond to them as humbly as I can. Even when they are serious, I face them with a smile. When they are about to leave, I wave them off reluctantly and give them my blessings. Recently, an eighty-year-old man who came for accommodations told me that a pair of his trousers was soiled and asked if I could wash them for him. I agreed to do so, but after I took out the trousers, I saw that they were stained with feces inside and out, and they really stank. I took the trousers to the lawn, opened the hose on them, rinsed his pants, sprayed them with liquid soap, and finally removed all their stains with a long brush until they were clean.

When playing the role of waiter, I never regard myself as the tour guide of Lifechanyuan, nor do I regard myself as the messenger of the Greatest Creator or the incarnation of God, Buddha, celestial, and saints, nor do I think about my achievements in the past. Here and now, I am nothing but a waiter, let alone regard myself as an old man with white temples. To be a waiter, regardless of who you were in the past or what great achievements you have made, just enter your current role, and play the skills and qualities required for that role well.

Seven tenths of the guests I receive are from Europe and a quarter are from North America. They tend to be very picky so that once a problem is found, it will definitely be mentioned on the reservation website and a reduced score will be given. The guests are made up of many kinds of people, but due to my high room rates, most of them are what we call upper-middle class. Several unexpected groups have come by, but when they learned about our rates, they left and went to cheaper motels and boarding houses. Therefore, because of our guests’ backgrounds, they are picky about their rooms and services, but however picky they might be about my facilities, they are always satisfied with my service; with me.

Because I play my role well, I get along well with the guests. Some like chatting, so I join in with them. I joke and talk about everything with my guests with my broken English and throw in some compliments from time to time, thus we have no barrier getting along with each other. Once there was a guest who, the more we talked, the deeper our discussion became. When he finally left, he specifically left me a business card, and I saw from it that he was a special representative from the UN Secretary-General and the head of their mission. Other guests have also left their addresses and contact information when they parted and invited me to visit them.

My parents taught me from a young age: “Do whatever you do like you are playing”, which means that regardless of who you are, play your role well. If you are herding sheep, do as shepherds do; if you are a peasant, plant crops well; if you are an official, you should be “official”. Of course, if you want to be a hooligan, you should strive to be a remarkable, first-rate hooligan. In short, no matter what role you play, you should play it wholeheartedly and play it well. There is a lady in Japan who cleaned airport toilets diligently for nearly thirty years until she finally became a national treasure-class person of Japan; the reason is that she played her role well.

Those who play their roles well, whether cleaning toilets or exploring alien Life, will be happy to take the initiative to do every current thing well and thoroughly. If they are sighing, grumbling, complaining, frowning, or cursing while they are working, there is no doubt that they are not playing their role well. Those who cannot play their roles well cannot be expected to play other roles well either, those who cannot do simple things well cannot be expected to do complex things well, and those who cannot do small things well cannot be expected to do big things well.

Those who cannot play their parts well will have inharmonious relationships with the people around them. First of all, their immediate bosses will definitely not like them and will kick them out at their first opportunity. Secondly, their colleagues will not like them and will be unwilling to interact and work with them. This is a manifestation of low EQ.

Even if we have the ability to poke holes in the sky, if our trajectory of life places us in the role of cleaning out cesspools, then we must not resent it’s being smelly and dirty, but dig out the dung happily, every day! Do not feel that your talents are unrecognized, do not blame the Greatest Creator for being unjust, and do not blame the world for there being no wise person to discover that you are a swift horse. The best way to have a bright future is to play your current role well. In this way, your EQ will increase gradually but definitely.

Absolutely beautiful things can only be enjoyed by absolutely beautiful LIVES. If you want to obtain something you desire, the most reliable way is to match your abilities with your qualities. If they are matched, it will come; if they are not matched, you can only sigh.