Non-Attachment is a Path to Being Unrestrained and Free

Xuefeng

June 23, 2024

Non-attachment means not clinging to the notion that you are right and others are wrong, not believing that others are wrong and you are right, and not attempting to make others speak or act according to your wishes.

Clinging to one’s own knowledge, views, and opinions is a sea of suffering on the journey of life, a difficult barrier to overcome. It is the fuse for conflicts between people, people and society, and people and nature. It is one of the roots of personal troubles and pains, and the yeast for the birth of tragedies.

No one in this world is wrong, and no phenomenon is wrong. We cannot say that mice digging holes and stealing grain is wrong, nor can we say that wolves eating sheep is wrong. Everyone has their own origins and destinations. If they didn’t speak or act that way, they wouldn’t be themselves.

Most people spend their lives mainly to earn money and acquire wealth. They’re not wrong! They say, “There are no eternal friends, only eternal interests.” They are right! Judging them from the standpoint of mortals, sages, or celestial beings is like commenting on a cat’s consciousness and behavior from a dog’s perspective—it’s impossible to reach a correct conclusion. “There are no eternal interests, only eternal affection.” Is this view correct? “There is no eternal affection, only eternal karmic debt.” Is this view correct? “There is no eternal karmic debt, only eternal reincarnation.” Is this view correct?

Without standing in others’ shoes, you will never understand why they must act as they do.

Looking at global history and modern marital relationships, at a smaller scale, 95% of marital relationships are not harmonious. Why? One of the reasons is attachment. Husbands want their wives to listen to them, and wives want their husbands to listen to them. They spend their lives arguing over trivial matters, each sticking to their own views, and where does harmony come from?

Painful facts tell us that trying to change or transform others is not only futile but also a great tragedy in life. Trying to turn a cabbage into a radish is not only making things difficult for the cabbage but also the ignorance, stupidity, and barbarity of the transformer.

Thus, we discover a way to be unrestrained and free—let others live their own lives.

Walking with a snail, you must go slow. Traveling with a swan, you must fly. Living with a lion, you must eat meat. Living with a cow, you must eat grass.

Living with parents, you must be obedient. Living with children, you must be easygoing. Living with a husband or wife, you must often say, “You are right.” Living with siblings, friends, and classmates, you must often say, “You are amazing.”

If you know others are wrong, what should you do?

The problem is, they think they are right! Ordinary people think that worldly people are short-sighted and petty, while worldly people think ordinary people are unrealistic and ambitious. Who is right and who is wrong? Sages think that celestial beings are illogical, irrational, too casual, and too willful, while celestial beings think that sages are rigid, dogmatic, inflexible, and lack spiritual insight. Who is right and who is wrong?

Which way of living is the best?

Speak human language with people, speak ghost language with ghosts, speak celestial language with celestial beings, and speak divine language with gods.

Of course, if you are a celestial being, it is best not to speak with people, ghosts, or gods.

Living with people who resonate on the same frequency is the most ideal and comfortable way to live.

In conclusion, do not cling to anything. Strive to live your own life and let others live theirs.

When the most difficult situation arises, if you always feel that you are being controlled by others—by parents, spouses, children, friends, bosses, masters, colleagues, or presidents—and you have to comply with their demands against your will, and it causes you great distress, how do you break free?

When it comes to matters of principle that concern your future, never compromise. Compromise will drag you down, resulting in “one false step bringing everlasting grief.”

If you face unreasonable demands from presidents, parents, bosses, masters, or teachers that you cannot resist, it’s easy to handle: whoever is in charge, whoever gives orders, bears all the consequences. Push all the responsibility onto them. But when it comes to matters of principle, be flexible. You can lift the muzzle of the gun by an inch; if you miss the target, it’s my lack of skill, not my refusal to shoot. If you fail to catch a “counter-revolutionary,” it’s not that you didn’t want to catch them, but that they were too cunning and escaped!

For trivial matters that don’t hurt or itch, if you don’t want to break relationships, just play along and make the other person happy and satisfied!

Let those who want to go to heaven go to heaven, let those who want to go to hell go to hell, let those who want to reincarnate to the animal world go there, and let those who want to continue being human keep being human. If people don’t seek my help, I won’t assist them, so everyone will be happy.

What if you see your parents or children heading to hell, and you are anxious to save them, but they don’t listen?

For loved ones and those whom you care about, do your best to express your views clearly. Whether they listen or not is up to them. Everyone has their own life and destiny. Do not be attached, do not force.

Do what you should do, and how others act is their business, not mine.