Suffering and Hardship Do Not Elevate One's Life

Xuefeng

March 3, 2024

Currently, there is a prevalent notion on the internet that “anyone who brings pain to oneself is here to fulfill oneself,” and “anyone who comes into one’s life is here to fulfill oneself.”

Is this notion correct?

In the “Cai Gen Tan,” there is a warning, “When heaven wants to harm someone, it first makes them proud with minor blessings; when heaven wants to bless someone, it first warns them with minor calamities.” The “Tao Te Ching” says, “Misfortune, that upon which happiness depends; happiness, that underneath which misfortune lurks.” From the perspective of Tai Chi thinking, fortune and misfortune are intertwined, pain and happiness coexist, and hardship and enjoyment go hand in hand. From the perspective of causality, enduring pain and hardship is the eradication of karma. From this, we understand that experiencing pain and hardship on life's journey has its positive side. As long as one recognizes this, one will not be defeated by pain and hardship because the overall energy of the universe balances out. Behind pain and hardship lies happiness and enjoyment.

However, the notion that "anyone who brings pain to oneself is here to fulfill oneself" and "anyone who comes into one's life is here to fulfill oneself" is erroneous. This is because the opposite implication of this notion is "anyone who brings happiness to oneself is here to harm oneself" and "anyone who comes into one's life is here to deceive oneself."

Ask yourself: Is someone who brings you joy, happiness, freedom, and blessedness harming you? Is someone who leads you into heaven harming you? Please ask yourself: If a villain stabs your parents or children to death with a knife, causing you pain, can you say that the person causing you pain is here to fulfill you? If rulers oppress you, exploit you, suppress you, and make you suffer, can you say that they are here to fulfill you?

If the notion that "anyone who brings pain to oneself is here to fulfill oneself" were valid, then untrustworthy people, thieves, robbers, bullies, thugs, tyrants, cruel officials, counterfeit goods, drugs, and so on would be here to fulfill you, right? Would gods and Buddhas come to save you and bring you peace and happiness, just to harm you?

Looking back at history, human history is a history of suffering, and the lives of the vast majority of people are mostly made up of pain. How many people have been fulfilled? If you spend your whole life in pain and hardship, do you think you can be fulfilled?

The fact is, pain and hardship do not fulfill a person; instead, they destroy a person. What truly fulfills a person is not pain and hardship, but happiness, joy, freedom, and blessedness.

The meaning of “fulfillment” is “to realize one’s wishes.” Can pain and hardship “realize your wishes”? Can someone who drives you out of your home, deprives you of your property, and leaves you with nowhere to go fulfill your “wishes”? Can someone who insults your mother or daughter and causes you pain fulfill your “wishes”? Can someone who deceives you into a hellish situation and causes you pain and suffering fulfill your “wishes”?

Pain and hardship do not make people grateful; instead, they make people angry and irrational. Pain and hardship may teach people lessons and make them wiser and more cautious, but they do not necessarily make people more charitable, compassionate, or generous.

The more civilized and orderly a place is, the happier, freer, and more joyful it is, the more it can help people to become celestial beings, buddhas, and to achieve their best wishes. Conversely, the more barbaric and backward a place is, the more it is filled with lies, deceit, deprivation, and cruelty, the more it tends to breed demons and monsters.

Do you still believe in the notion that “anyone who brings pain to oneself is here to fulfill oneself”?